


That Hot Girl

by ijemanja



Category: 30 Rock
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-11-12
Updated: 2006-11-12
Packaged: 2018-02-06 04:31:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1844500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ijemanja/pseuds/ijemanja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Liz, we talked about this. You're straight, remember? You've got to stop calling me and asking me out."</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Hot Girl

**Author's Note:**

> Set during episode 1.04 'Jack the Writer', where Liz gets dressed up only to be laughed out of the room by the writing staff.

The phone rang. Gretchen Thomas checked the caller ID, sighed, and picked up.

"Hello?"

"You think I'm hot, right?"

"Liz, we talked about this. You're straight, remember? You've got to stop calling me and asking me out."

"And I promise I'm working on that. But first I was wondering if you want to come over and look at what I'm wearing."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. But you'll have to hurry because there's only so long I can hide in my office dressed like this."

"Are you... wearing some kind of lingerie right now? Or maybe a feather boa and thigh-high boots?"

"It's more like this blue dress thing, actually, with leggings and a belt, and my hair looks awesome."

"So..."

"The guys were really mean to me about it? But then I figure - they're _idiots_. And so I thought I'd consult with you and get an honest opinion."

"And by honest you mean -"

"Favourable, obviously."

This time the sigh would not be suppressed. Neither would the self-recrimination that followed when she found herself saying, "Okay, I'll come see you. I think I can get away from work for a while."

"Great! Thank you, really - I try not to have all these insecurity issues because it's so pathetic, and of course I'm familiar with the whole 'confidence is sexy' concept, but I've always been locked in this vicious cycle of feeling insecure, which is unattractive, which makes me feel insecure, which is even more unattractive."

"Well I've never had that problem, personally, but -"

"Sure, because you're like a supermodel. And not," Liz hurried to add, "the bitchy, coke-addict type, either. And it's not like you're _that_ skinny, next to an actual supermodel you'd probably look okay this is turning into the worst compliment ever."

"Liz, I just have to ask, are you sure you're not waiting for me in your office naked except for a bow around your boobs?"

"Has that ever actually happened to you?"

"Couple times, yeah."

"Well, now this sexy off-the-shoulder thing I've got going doesn't seem nearly as exciting. Maybe I should change. What do you think - something with the crotch cut out or -"

"Liz."

"Yeah?"

"You're straight."

"Right. Right! But you're still coming."

"Sure."

"Excellent. See you in about twenty?"

"See you then."

Gretchen hung up the phone, trying to think of something to tell her assistant about where she was going other than 'I have to go help a sexually absent-minded friend with her fashion crisis'. And also trying to remember why she wasn't supposed to be chasing straight girls.

Not that she was doing much in the way of chasing, per se. And not that Liz was particularly straight.

In fact, Liz was the one doing what could, if not for certain circumstances, be classed as stalking. Certain circumstances being that Gretchen hadn't had a decent date in a while - a decent date with an actual gay woman that is - and clearly her standards were starting to slide.

When she got to the Girlie Show offices and located the writer's room she found a handful of people sitting around the table. The only one seemingly able to form words was Pete, whom she'd met at the poker night, while the others mostly stared at her in a dreamy, unfocused sort of way.

"Oh hey, Gretchen right? You must be here to see Liz. She's in there." Pete waved towards a door across the room. "You can go right on in." He started to laugh a little. "Wait till you see her, she -" The laughter took over then and he had to put his head down on the desk. Around him the rest of the writers started cracking up, too. The overweight guy with the curly hair even managed to do this while still staring at her, which was fairly creepy.

"Thanks," Gretchen said, as she gladly made her way over to the door, knocking only once before opening it and stepping through. "Hey, those guys are kind of..." She trailed off as the door closed behind her and she took in the sight before her.

"Hi," Liz said, crossing both arms over her chest in an apparent attempt to cover up the fact she wasn't actually wearing anything. No off-the-shoulder blue dress thing, no leggings. Basically largely naked.

"This," Gretchen said after a moment, "is what's called sending mixed signals."

"No, because see Jack called," Liz said. "Yeah, uh-huh. After I called you. Actually, his assistant called, and he wants to see me. Jack. Not the assistant. But I couldn't go up there like this."

"Naked? No. Probably night."

"For the record, I do have underpants on."

"And they're not even crotchless."

"Yes, thank you! Exactly." Gretchen wasn't sure why Liz was so pleased about what seemed to be a rather small victory, but she continued to smile as if it all made perfect sense as she went on. "You see, I got Kenneth to bring my clothes over from wardrobe so I could change, and then _as_ I was changing I realised my bra wasn't with my stuff - and don't think I'm not wondering about why that is - and so I've been standing here wondering if I should just continue to go braless, which would be very hypocritical of me since I was just telling Cerie that she has to wear a bra when she's at work. But the alternative is that I have to get someone to go _look for my bra_ , so. You see my dilemma."

Gretchen could see a lot of things. Especially since Liz had started talking with her hands at some point during her rather lengthy explanation.

Gretchen sighed. Again. "Two things," she said. "First, I have to say I actually am, not surprisingly, in favour of this outfit. Second, that's because yes, I do think you're hot. But here's the third thing - you've got to stop doing this to me."

Liz looked like she was going to protest for a moment, then hung her head in shame. "I know. God, I'm such a tease, flaunting all my forbidden flesh in front of you..."

"Maybe you could get dressed."

"Okay." She turned and grabbed her top off the pile of clothes on the desk, only to pause. "Where are you on the 'bra or no-bra' situation?"

"Seriously, get dressed."

"Okay." Liz fumbled for a few seconds getting her shirt turned the right way out. "I feel really bad about - well, about being me in general a lot of the time, but especially about leading you on like this. I guess I'm just not used to being that girl, you know, that hot girl? I mean you'd think the least I could do is fool around with you a little."

Gretchen put a hand to her forehead, feeling a headache coming on.

"I mean how bad could it be?" Liz was thinking aloud now, staring off into space, top still only half on. "Maybe if I kept my eyes closed..."

At this point something snapped. It might have been Gretchen's forbearance, it might have been Liz's tenuous grasp on her heterosexuality, it might have been both. Whichever it was, Gretchen found herself crossing the few feet separating them and taking hold of Liz's shoulders.

Liz gave her a deer-in-headlights look and said, "Are you going to do things to me now?"

"Yes," Gretchen replied firmly.

"Okay." Liz swallowed hard, and closed her eyes tight.

Gretchen looked down into her scrunched up face. "Oh for fuck's sake," she muttered, but it was now or never so she leaned forward and -

"Wait!" Liz's eyes flew open. "I have to go see Jack. As soon as I get... dressed."

Liz looked down at herself and seemed to remember that she was still almost completely naked. Then she looked back up at Gretchen and gave a sheepish sort of shrug. Gretchen just rolled her eyes and grabbed the shirt - still hanging from Liz's arms waiting to be pulled on over her head - and tossed it aside.

"I'll give him a call," Gretchen said. "He's surprisingly understanding about this sort of thing."

"You're going to call Jack and tell him you're doing things to me in my office so could he give me a few minutes?"

"I'll tell him you're with me, and we're busy, and you'll need about an hour. He'll get the picture."

Liz blinked. "Wow. An hour? Really?"

"I figure at least half of that will be spent getting you to open your eyes and stop looking for my penis."

"Yeeeah. About that."

"Look, I don't do this with straight girls, remember? So, you just need to figure out you're not nearly as straight as you think you are."

"Oh. Okay, but can I still shut my eyes? I think we'd all be a lot more comfortable."

"Go ahead."

Face duly scrunched, Liz said, "Okay. Now you go ahead."

And so Gretchen did.


End file.
